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Sort of nominally dreaming, I think; I was awake at the time; this was a falling asleep thing. Sort of halfway between 'I tell myself stories to fall asleep to' and ... I don't know what.
I'm not sure how I got onto this thought-train at all, though it's something I've been getting back into wanting to work with since the astral work at training weekend.
So when I went to bed last night and was trying to get settled, I wound up with the distinct impression that my body was the wrong shape. I worked at it mentally for a while, trying to figure out what was wrong; the primary locus was my hands, but there was also the 'this femur is way too long for what it's supposed to do' problem.
I worked the state for a while, shifting my sense of self-awareness to match the shape my mind wanted. Quadrupedal, I think more likely canine than feline (when I managed to get the sensation of tail it was not sinuous; getting the tail at all took a lot of working on my hip shape) but I'm not sure what species. I don't do this as often as I used to, and rarely land-going creatures.
(Usually when I consciously choose to get into the shapeshifting altered perception state, I'm going to an avian shape, as I described a long time ago when was still on rasseff and trying to explain it to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
marykaykare.)
When my sense of shape was more or less lined up with what it wanted to be, I wanted to run. Long, loping strides, the crunch and expand, the ... I don't know where I went, I considered pushing at various directions and kept shying away from them, just running like these feet knew where to go.
Somewhere through the haze there was a portal. I watched it for a while, the arched space into elsewhere, I circled it and observed it -- and then I went home. ('Watched' is not right; I don't get strong visuals in these sorts of trance states, really, just ... sensation. Though there was some sort of light, sort of.)
I'm utterly baffled.
I'm not sure how I got onto this thought-train at all, though it's something I've been getting back into wanting to work with since the astral work at training weekend.
So when I went to bed last night and was trying to get settled, I wound up with the distinct impression that my body was the wrong shape. I worked at it mentally for a while, trying to figure out what was wrong; the primary locus was my hands, but there was also the 'this femur is way too long for what it's supposed to do' problem.
I worked the state for a while, shifting my sense of self-awareness to match the shape my mind wanted. Quadrupedal, I think more likely canine than feline (when I managed to get the sensation of tail it was not sinuous; getting the tail at all took a lot of working on my hip shape) but I'm not sure what species. I don't do this as often as I used to, and rarely land-going creatures.
(Usually when I consciously choose to get into the shapeshifting altered perception state, I'm going to an avian shape, as I described a long time ago when was still on rasseff and trying to explain it to
marykaykare.)When my sense of shape was more or less lined up with what it wanted to be, I wanted to run. Long, loping strides, the crunch and expand, the ... I don't know where I went, I considered pushing at various directions and kept shying away from them, just running like these feet knew where to go.
Somewhere through the haze there was a portal. I watched it for a while, the arched space into elsewhere, I circled it and observed it -- and then I went home. ('Watched' is not right; I don't get strong visuals in these sorts of trance states, really, just ... sensation. Though there was some sort of light, sort of.)
I'm utterly baffled.
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Can't tell whether ribcage was (for lack of better orientation, using human) longer front-back than side-side, but if it was off roughly cylindrical that was the direction. Narrow-hipped; when the shift on the hips was right, the tail was implicit, sort of like a rudder on the ship of the skeleton. Didn't get much sense of shoulder structure or head, even -- it was all focus on legs and paws and once that was right, the running. Best guess I have are the quarters were roughly even; shoulder may have been higher than rump.
The sensory scape when I'm in shapeshift trance is typically tactile; this wasn't really an exception. I got senses of landscape occasionally in the darkness, constructed as if the whole world were written in afterimages from a bright light. I tried to pull 'up' to judge where I was or navigate by as if looking down on a map, and the trance rejected the notion pretty throughly.
I want to say the portal was blue, but I suspect that's because I've been playing Warcraft. :P It wasn't blue to look at, in any case, just the feel of it; it was surrounded by spiky yellow-light abstracted vegetation.